


Path of Awareness

by RaspberryDevil



Series: A bouquet of Zinnias [4]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: F/M, M/M, Self-Discovery, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 13:25:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10022528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaspberryDevil/pseuds/RaspberryDevil
Summary: Looking back on his past, Sting realised that he was still the same child who wanted to be loved by people, who didn't mind that he and Rogue weren't always doing the best. But his new guildmates were weak, just like the townspeople had been, talking about being the strongest and yet failing a mission, leading to their expel.He wouldn't end like that, he decided, especially not with Rogue by his side.





	

**Author's Note:**

> After a break, have Sting's perspective! You don't have to read Rogue's part first ("Path of Self-Discovery"), but it might fill a few gaps, though I tried to keep it as separated as possible. They still belong together. Sting's path is a bit different than Rogue's, still this story is basically what would be if they don't fall in love during/directly after the GMG but later, after figuring out their sexuality first. So it's kind of a self-discovery thing and because of this there are OC's in this story and Sting/OC but I don't got into detail that much so that the focus lies on them discovering and not the relationship.

“ _My son. Life gives you so many opportunities to be happy, grab each because regret is the worst. Love and be loved. Form bonds with the people you are close with. They will mean more to you than you can imagine.”_

  
Sting often thought about his dad's words especially after he had been told to kill him. He didn't really know what these bonds he had talked about were but when he came into a town after aimlessly wandering around, he thought he got an idea. That these peoples admiration after he defeated bandits and wanted to stay around him was nothing like that didn't cross his mind until they began questioning a dragonslayer's power.

 

Why would they do that? Hadn't he proven that he was strong by saving them? How could they – who had done nothing – gossip about being weak?

 

He might have been angry if it hadn't been for his dad's words. But because of them he smiled, a big toothy grin and there were not many who weren't charmed by his smile, the local guild allowing him to sleep in their hall. That's why these words which wouldn't stop, just became less louder (still loud enough for a dragonslayer like him to hear), hurt so much.

 

And then he met Lector.

  
It was another town, he was ten by now, met different people and yet it was always the same. They praised him, thanked the boy for helping out but behind his back they whispered how a dragon was too strong for a dragonslayer, that his magic was unique but probably not even dragonslaying magic. The only one who didn't care was Lector who admired his strength for what it was and asked to be his pupil.

  
  


Also he learnt that admiration wasn't friendship.

  
  


Lector looked up to him, put him on a pedestal, but Sting only wanted to be his friend. He realised that this is what the townspeople had done and for the first time he didn't just get angry, but he also told them when he heard the men whisper again.

  
  


“Not strong enough? I already killed a dragon”, he said before he could regret the words.

  
  


It wasn't something to proclaim with pride, after all it had been his father, even if he had been a dragon. Soon this is forgotten though, in the face of a crowd who couldn't believe it. Looked at him as if he had gone mad.

 

After this, Sting started to ignore them again.

 

What he couldn't ignore was Lector's tears. He was so honest that Sting couldn't believe how the townspeople treated him. It was one thing laughing at him for talking about killing a dragon and another to make fun of Lector. And so, after the promise they made – beating another dragonslayer, proving himself – he came to a conclusion: He would leave this village to search for the true bonds his father had talked about.

 

Of course he wanted to get stronger, to beat Natsu. But once he vanished, it didn't matter any more.

 

  
At twelve, he wondered what he was supposed to do now, questioning himself. Just when he thought about joining a guild crossed his mind, he met _him_ for the first time.

 

“Hey, you! I know your smell. You are a dragonslayer as well, aren't you?”

  
The young boy didn't even spar him a second glance and kept on walking as if Sting wasn't present. Even though the blond was slightly offended, it didn't stop him from approaching the guy. He might have already labelled him rude in his mind, but Sting couldn't care less. He just knew that he was going to regret not following him, the voice of his father in the back of his mind as present as always.

  
“Okay, Lector, let's befriend him. There is no use letting the only other dragonslayer live on his own.”

  
Sting was used to people liking him, even after he learnt what it means to be scared, so having a guy the same age not being interested was confusing, but he easily adjusted. They followed the boy with a few meters distance so that they don't scare him completely and maybe just because Sting was a little worried he'd punch him if they would walk to close. He wouldn't push him to become friends though and as soon as they would reach the next village or city without making progress, he'd leave him alone.

  
“I'm Sting, by the way. And this here is Lector”, he introduced himself, didn't bother raising his voice despite of the distance; the boy heard him anyway, even if he remained silent.

  
  


Sting simply shrugged, didn't mind the cold shoulder he got. Okay, he did mind it. Despite of Lector by his side, he felt lonely and he assumed that the boy had to feel so to. He couldn't just leave him all by himself.

  
  


(At least he had an Exceed who accompanied him.)

  
  


*

  
  


It took them a day until they were fighting back to back against bandits who thought they can rob some little boys. Rogue was still reluctant to call him by his name or close the distance between them, but eventually, he started to ease up around Sting.

  
“Your scent reminds me of mother”, he admitted one day and Sting couldn't help but to grin upon this achievement, gaining some Information about the other one who only gave him his name after hesitating.

  
“And yours me of dad, so I think we should stick together.”

  
It was a weak argument, but they had been children back then and so it was all they had.

 

  
Slowly the resemblance faded and soon Sting wasn't sure any more if he would recognise his father's scent. But he grew accustomed to Rogue's and it was his new home. But not just him, no, they were soon having another member.

  
Lector was the one who saw Frosch first and he didn't know if Rogue was aware of it but his eyes lit up when he saw the little one. Sting felt like it was his duty to drag him to his happiness – luckily it didn't take more than a sentence to convince Rogue.

  
  


They were a odd little group, but for the first time since Sting left the village did he feel a step closer to achieving what he deemed his father's wish.

 

* * *

 

Joining Sabertooth with fourteen was the biggest change in their life.

  
Looking back on his past, Sting realised that he was still the same child who wanted to be loved by people, who didn't mind that he and Rogue weren't always doing the best. But his new guildmates were weak, just like the townspeople had been, talking about being the strongest and yet failing a mission, leading to their expel.

  
He wouldn't end like that, he decided, especially not with Rogue by his side.

 

It's the same thing the expelled mages had thought and when the Grand magic games took place, Sting understood this better than anyone else.

  
  


* * *

 

Sting had always been rather popular, but didn't think about dating anyone. Most of the girls were intimidated and the ones who were brave enough were not interested. Only when the Grand magic games were over and he had time thinking did he consider dating, which was easier since he was getting popular among woman with the title as a guild master. Once or twice he brought a woman with him home, but even though he liked them, liked kissing them (and hugging – he almost forgot how nice it is to have someone close), there was none he would like to spend more time with.

  
  


Ironically enough, he started dating a woman his age who wasn't a mage, didn't even know who he had been and this was why it felt... like a relief? Having someone who didn't know how it was to feel the pressure of being the strongest. She was smaller than him and he enjoyed resting his chin on the top of her curly orange hair, wrapping his arms around her waist. She always laughed about this, teasing him about having a protection instinct.

  
She laughed and smiled a lot. It's something he really liked about her, the way she talked and the little letters she gave him once he'd have to work a lot and couldn't see her, a way to make him feel loved. He really really liked her.

  
Rogue apparently not. He couldn't tell why, after all they never talked about it. So he also felt nervous when he asked him if he would accompany him on a double date. His girlfriend had a friend who apparently took interest in Rogue and he didn't think that it would be a problem trying. They hadn't been dating for long, so this was also a way for him to properly introduce the two of them. He had agred, but the dinner had been a bit strange. Sting tried to ese the tension nd his girlfriend as well. Though her friend seemed rather charmed by Rogue's distant behaviour, so he tried not to worry much. Yet he still couldn't really tell why his friend seemed less interested in getting to know her than before.

  
  


“You are his best friend, I just guess he is afraid that you are going to leave one day”, she said after the dinner, when he opened up and told her about his concern.

  
  


“I won't. I mean, even if we'd move together, we'd see each other in the guild often enough.”

  
  


“Do you? Aren't you just talking about work and magic when you're together?”

  
  


Furrowing his brows, he considered her words. They had, hadn't they? He feels bad and she must have realised this, telling him not to think about it too much. Sting couldn't help it though. She looked amused and leant forward, kissing him.

  
  


“Then you should talk.”

  
  


“And what if he says that he doesn't like you?”

  
  


“Then what? You're going to leave me?”

  
  


He opened his mouth to disagree, but she was quicker, must have seen something in his expression he hadn't been aware of and smiled. It had something sad to it and he wondered if he missed something.

  
  


“Talk to him. You'll see that you can work this out.”

  
  


“Right. I will. Thank you.”

  
  


She smiles again and Sting feels himself mirroring that expression.

  
  


* * *

  
  


They break up. It's not inevitable nor had he seen it coming and for a while he does feel sad. But sometimes different expectations weren't able to overcome and there is no use staying together when their paths are different. And they were different. Sting tries to blame it on his job as a master, but he vowed to stop lying to himself so he soon realises that she had her own ambitions he couldn't quite follow.

  
(She still sends him letters once in a while and when he reads them, he smiles, keeps them with fondness.)

 

Rogue tries to cheer him up – in his own way, at least, even tough Sting is pretty sure he has no idea why he feels down. He appreciates it though, after all his friend hadn't been by his side for a while, however he is glad that Rogue helps; visiting the magic shop to run errands was not high on his list of work to do.

 

Dating a mage would be better, or so he thought, before he meet Marilena. She wasn't a petite girl, yet she had something fragile about her. She was really cute and he genuinely liked her, yet she seemed rather distant sometimes and so he confronted her after dating for a few months.

 

He didn't want to break up with her, and yet this was what had happened that day. She told him that she hadn't been Marilena until a year ago, that people thought she was a man because that's what everyone had made her believe since her birth and assumed that he might feel betrayed now. Sting wasn't, told her as much, but his confusion was obvious.

  
  


After that talk he had been lost in thoughts, wondering if he had done something wrong. Of course searching for mistakes wasn't a good idea, nobody was to blame and in the end it had been a remark from Lector which caused him to make up his mind – Rogue had been his confidant since he can remember, so talking to him should be an obvious solution.

  
  


He was scared nevertheless, of what he couldn't tell.

  
  


Because Rogue was patient with him, asking without demanding and it was a relief. He had realised that Rogue wasn't interested in talking about relationships, not after that double date which went well but caused Rogue to think about something Sting couldn't quite grasp. It had never been a topic between them which made it harder. So he was grateful that he helped him realise that he actually doesn't mind the gender of a person he dates. And when Rogue confessed that he liked guys, it helped as well to come to terms with this new realisation.

 

So he went to Marilena the next day and apologised, asking for her forgiveness. She hesitated and he couldn't blame her.

  
  


“I'd like to be your friend... one day. I know you loved me and maybe you still do, but I think I deserve someone who looks at me like you do at Rogue”

  
  


“Yeah, you do deserve someone who notices what's bothering you”, he replied, didn't really get what she truly meant with Rogue, but this wasn't about him but her feelings.

  
  


“I'm glad you understand.”

  
  


“Well, to be honest I'm still a bit confused”, he admitted sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head, “but you already taught me a lot and I hope one day I deserve your trust. Regardless, you're always welcomed in our guild.”

  
  


She simply smiled at him in response and Sting felt the same ache he had after his last break up; at least this showed that he truly loved both.

  
  


* * *

  
  


Everything came down when he had been in his office and worked. Sting didn't think much about dating the past weeks. He wondered why, what changed. And then he had to think about Rogue who more often than not lately allowed him by his side.

  
  


“Rogue is kind of cute, don't you think?”

  
  


His statement seemed like it came out of the blue but Rufus who knew him for a while now, used to the sudden shifts of thoughts during work, didn't even look up. It happened from time to time, that's why one of them was always with him, so that he didn't have to talk to himself and had someone who replied, even if it was just a hum in agreement.

  
  


“Handsome? Yes I'd say so.”

  
  


There was a short pause akin to hesitation. Rufus didn't seem to be aware of it, turning the next page of the book he was reading, not even looking up when Sting said his name to get his attention.

  
  


“Yes?”

  
  


“I think I may be in love with him.”

  
  


This though got his attention. He was not just looking up from his book but also laying it aside.

  
  


“You think?”, he wanted to know, emphasising the last word, to make sure that he understood correctly; Sting nodded, but didn't elaborate in a way Rufus expected.

  
  


“I talked with him about my ex girlfriend... and I came to the realisation that I like men and woman. And Rogue....”

  
  


He didn't know if he was allowed to say it, even if Rufus was their friend, but thankfully, Rufus had been more perceptive than he gave him credit for.

  
  


“Admitted to like guys?”

  
  


“Yes.”

  
  


“Go on.”

  
  


His patience was amazing and Sting was thankful.

  
  


“I really liked her but now knowing that Rogue likes guys is just... We could still be partners when he rejects me.”

  
  


Rufus raised his eyebrow like he didn't believe that this is all, urging him to go on with a silent glance.

  
  


“Okay and maybe I really want to sleep with him but come on who in his right mind wouldn't want to have sex with a guy like him?”

  
  


Sting just shrugs, as if it was no big deal, but Rufus' “Thank you very much” caused him to reconsider, starring at his friend with wide eyes; sometimes his mouth was faster than his brain and in this moment it wasn't helpful at all.

  
  


“Fuck sorry I didn't mean to insult you.”

  
  


“No no, it's fine, just mock me for not wanting sex, it's okay.”

  
  


Sting looked guilty but then he caught Rufus' expression, a small smile playing around his lips, and it clicked.

  
  


“You're making fun of me”, Sting said, a bit hesitant but still no question.

  
  


“Maybe. Just a little”, he admitted and Sting groaned.

  
  


“I can't do this shit. Lately I feel like I am offending anyone.”

  
  


“You didn't care about this before. Doesn't this mean you grew as a person?”

  
  


“I would totally kiss you right now if I wouldn't think about kissing Rogue.”

  
  


“I know.”

  
  


“Don't get cocky.”

  
  


He just smirked, reaching for his book again and going back to reading.

  
  


“I'm going to ask him out”, he mumbled to himself and Rufus was kind enough not to mention the underlying insecurity in his voice.

  
  


* * *

  
  


It happened during a banquet held by Blue Pegasus in celebration of Fairy Tail's return as a guild.

 

To be fair, he didn't remember that much from the evening. He hadn't been drunk per se, but maybe a bit more alcohol than he was used to made its way into his glass. It's something Minerva had mentioned with amusement, though when Sting offered her to take over dancing with Yukino, she gladly kept quiet. Their stellar mage seemed happy as well to dance with their lady, though when Rogue told him about his bad dancing skills, he wondered if it hadn't been because of her but out of relief to be rid of him. Oh well, he didn't mind, had Rogue to dance with and when Natsu came, he finally got to drink with him like he intended during the Grand Magic Games.

  
  


It had been a while since he enjoyed himself that much and maybe that was the reason, the light atmosphere and seeing his friends, which caused him to ask out Rogue. He felt so young again, wondering why he was so nervous, despite asking out other people before. Though it's probably because it had been Rogue. His companion, best friend and someone he never saw as a person he could actually kiss. But this was exactly what he wanted and couldn't stop thinking about.

  
  


As usual, there is nothing to worry about when it comes to him and Sting could't believe it but he was dating Rogue and if he wasn't showering him with kisses each morning, making up for all the ones he couldn't give him in public, he would have believed that all of this was a dream. Which would have been a pity, after all he enjoyed it a lot, kissing him until he would crack a smile because Sting himself always grinned, peppering his face with kisses. There was just one thing he had to make sure of, otherwise the anxiety would eat at him for a while.

  
  


“I was wondering about something”, he starts, sitting across from him at the kitchen table; a lot of talking happened here in the past days and Sting wondered if it was because it was the least intimate room or because they always eat a lot.

  
  


“What?”

  
  


“You already had sex with a guy, right?”

  
  


“You didn't? With your girlfriends, I mean?”, he inquires, doesn't seem really bothered or aware of the problem and Sting envied him for that, not knowing that Rogue dreaded this talk since they kissed for the first time.

  
  


“No. I always wanted to wait.”

  
  


For the right time. The one true love. For marriage. Who knew. He doesn't, not really.

  
  


“We can still wait, I don't need it, don't force yourself”, Rogue says, leaning over and kissing him when he sees how Sting intends to disagree, nipping any protest in the bud.

  
Rogue can't help stealing another kiss when he sees Sting pouting, would gladly change the topic if he wouldn't find it adorable. (It's a word he'd never associated with him, so he had to get used to it, though it wasn't the only word – while he knew he was attractive, thinking of him as sexy was another thing).

 

Eventually, Sting decides that this information seemed enough and inquires about something else which had occupied him, though it had been noreal concern, just curiosity.

 

“You still haven't told me about this mission. With Minerva and the dancing.”

  
  


Rogue raises his eyebrow, needs a moment to understand what he is talking about. When he does he just shrugs – it wasn't a special story so he doesn't mind sharing it.

  
  


“A dark guild was involved in the shipment of forbidden magic utensils. There was a banquet with nobles which would have gained profit from it and so it was a cover-up for some deals. One noble family couldn't agree with this and asked us in advance to help find out who pulled the strings. So we infiltrated the party. Minerva thought it would be obvious if we show up like usual so we dressed formal and she taught me some steps to blend in.”

  
  


He doesn't mention that Minerva passes as formal without trying and that Rogue was the one looking like a warrior. Though at least his abs weren't showing, Minerva had commented and might have caused Rogue to snort.

(It's still mysterious how she doesn't mind gossiping in front of him and even more surprising that he himself doesn't mind as well and chimes in with his own comments)

  
  


“What's so funny?”, Rogue wants to know after he finished his explanation and sees the amusement on the other one's face.

  
  


“Just glad that you two get along so well.”

  
  


Raising an eyebrow is enough to signalise that he doesn't fully believe him; Sting laughs sheepishly.

  
  


“Have I mentioned how amazing you are?”

  
  


Rogue feels a blush creeping along his cheeks, mumbling something under his breath, a “Where is this coming from?” following.

  
  


“Just still can't believe it. That you love me. That everything in this moment is just...”, he doesn't dare to say it in fear of challenging fate and Rogue seems to understand – he sends him a small smile, reaching over to take Sting's hand in his and squeezes it.

  
  


“Yeah.”

  
  


(Stinge has loved a lot of smiles over the last months, but in this moment, Rogue's was his favourite.)

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Why are you grinning like that? Planned something?”, one of his guildmates asks Sting, amused to see their young Master sitting at a table in the hall with a bright grin.

  
  


Sting watches Orga playing on the small stage, Yukino summoning her little dog to show a new member stellar spirit magic. To Rogue who was helping at the bar, getting confused by the drinks name and blushing when their guildmates laugh but not getting angry at them. To Rufus who doesn't mind sitting next to one of their older member, simply reading in silence. Thoughts wandering to Minerva who currently spars with their weaker members.

  
  


“Just found it, that's all.”

  
  


It might have took him a while to figure out what his dad had been talking about but there was still enough time to cherish it. And he is sure that Weisslogia figured it out before Sting had.

  
  


It's comforting, Sting thinks, that his dad might still be watching over him.

 


End file.
